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Thursday, June 8, 2006

yard2.jpg

The deck flowers are all snuggy in their pots – I tried some new varieties this spring. Above you see, clockwise: purple – Angelonia (Serena); yellow – Nemesia; silver – Dusty Miller (Silver Dust); green – CeCe; silver – Dichondra (Silver Falls); silver – more Dusty Miller; not visible – a lovely light lilac Petunia!

J’adore silver leafed plants – the little Dichondra is most lovely –

And, inspired by the fabulous Bron, I decided that I must have a green CeCe…

Here you see part of a sleeve, made from ggh Bali – a nice cotton/micro blend – it has a matte finish which I love. Guilty pleasure – wallowing in the same color in the same pattern in a wonderful season. Sometimes it’s good to stick close to home – to what you know.

I’ve had a lot of changes this year to date :) Thanks for all the well wishes from everyone for my Family. There hasn’t been any new news – my Mom isn’t doing any better – she has extreme disk degeneration on her spine. Even though she is in incredible pain, she is being the text book reluctant patient and will not do anything the doctor tells her. This has thrust me into a role that I don’t have a script to follow. C.L.U.E.L.E.S.S.

I’ve realized that my parent’s generation is just not into Multi-tasking the way mine is. While they ponder and deliberate, I dig up alternatives and fixes and plans. My Mother seems to want to act like nothing is different; nothing has changed. That if she just gets up in the morning and makes toast, all is right with the world.

And, she’s probably right – after all, it’s just one day at a time anyway… :)

I look at flowers. I touch green. I started taking a different bus to work in the morning because of construction delays on the #66 and it’s opened up a whole new world of views in the A.M. I love to see what people have done in their tiny yards – lots of vertical growing going on…

15 Responses to “Thursday, June 8, 2006”

  1. Terry says:

    You are in a tough situation, parents never seem to listen to their offspring yet! for someone other than family to say the same thing – they’d listen (at least w. me it was like that – four! elderly parents gone w/i the last 15 yrs.) It’s really different for each of us – it’s not that you are clueless it’s just really tough to get the elders to follow modern thinking. You ARE doing your best – she knows you’re there for her.

    Thanks for the wonderful green you’ve been showing! Take good care B!

  2. canoelady3 says:

    Sometimes we just have to ponder a little, accept things as they are, and absorb them as best we can. Just be there for her. Someday it will make sense.

    Today is my Mom’s Birthday, and mine too. this morning she didn’t remember who I was. She has the Alz Desease. It is progressing quite fast this year.

    So, my Dear, you probably know it, but you bring joy to many. I like yo know what you are doing and thinking each day. Somedays, just hold up your hand, and know that you are touching someone, and that we are touching you back.

  3. Teresa says:

    Here’s a vitural hug from me to you

    ((((Bonne Marie)))))

    …I hope it helps to know you are not alone in your new role.

    PS: I cast on CeCe in Cotton Pantine’ in color #021 this past weekend. Making the “big gurl” size and also engaged in some end of quarter school work so it’s slow going but *very* enjoyable.

  4. Leslie says:

    Bonnie, The “generation” thing is so true. At this point she has all these home health care people in and out and they just love her, she IS lovable. But they don’t see or touch the real part of her. Her generation believes that they need to “please” people and tell them what they want to hear. Yet she is incapable of the follow through to make it happen. They don’t communicate with me, thinking that she will remember to tell me what I need to know, cause she tells them she will. She has short term memory loss, which they know about. I too have to research all the treatments for her condition, to see what I can do to help.

    I wish I had time to knit. I want a Cece in the worst way. I just love that little sweater! I think I would do it in lavendar…. I have some TLC cotton plus… would this work?

  5. Chris says:

    Your green CeCe is off to a lovely start!

    Isn’t it amazing how doing something so simple as taking a different route can open our eyes so much?

    Hang in there!

  6. Leah says:

    One day at a time is the way it comes, so it makes sense to take it that way as well.

    But I so know where you are coming from. I am a multi-tasker, take charge, fix it before it’s broke kind of person.

    Wait and see rubs against my grain.

    I toast your positive attitude!

  7. rb says:

    Sars at Tomato Nation says there are two basic types: Listeners and Fixers. Sometimes people are just looking for a Listener, when you in fact are a Fixer. (So am I.) So this can be frustrating to us, because our carefully considered and researched advice is never followed.

    I’m not sure it’s generational. My husband is defintely more of a listener and when he talks to me he really just wants listening, and there I am trying to solve everything.

  8. Karen B. says:

    B. Marie,

    Totally agree with Terry. You are doing your best. You are not clueless. Mom is gonna do this thing her way, no matter how much you want her to be the compliant patient. She knows you have nothing but love and best intentions for her.

    Besides, there’s nothing that first bite into warm buttered toast with jam. For that moment, all is right with the world.

  9. Jennifer says:

    I have no words of wisdom, I’m afraid. I am sending my continued well wishes and thoughts.

  10. Maureen says:

    Bonne Marie, I feel for you. My own mom is having problems walking which I never noticed when I visit her (small town America where everyone drives) but when she visited me for the first time in 4 years, I discovered that she could not mange 2 blocks without stopping to rest. She’s had every sort of work-up and nothing explains her disability.

    I know how hard it must be to see your mom declining. It is one of the stages of life to take the caregiver role for the older generation– when they will let us take it. A psychologist I know belives that it is a developmental stage that we must go through in our maturation as adults.

    Its not easy but you’re not alone. Kind thoughts going out to you.

  11. Silvia says:

    Well if anyone can find alternative remedies or a way of convincing her to listen to the dr., it’s you. She’s a big girl and there’s not much else you can do expect nag her constantly (like when you were a pre-teen wanting something…). Well maybe not. Take care.

  12. AnnP says:

    Bonne Marie- First, let me say that I have been thinking of you every day, knowing you are going through a difficult time . You were an inspiration to me when your mother was hospitalized a year or so ago. Little did I know I would go through the same thing with my mother very soon thereafter. My mom is cancer free now and doing well but gets unduly upset by small, everyday problems so I spend alot of time on the phone with her sorting things out and suggesting solutions. Yes, she does ‘ponder and deliberate’ and is afraid of being any trouble to her doctors so doesn’t always get the attention she deserves.

    A visit to your blog always cheers me up, wish I could do the same for you.

  13. Lolly says:

    Even through the hard times, you reamin positive and upbeat. It is truly beautiful, and I know it enriches the lives of those around you (on- and offline) I am keeping you and your family in my thoughts, dear.

  14. Delica says:

    Life and its suprises, pitfalls, celebrations, obstacles, . . . Bonnie Marie, I think you are doing the best job you can do for yourself and your mother. Keep the things that make you happy around you – flowers, yarn, friends, family

  15. Wanda says:

    I’ve been thinking of you and your mother. I hope that some diagnosis or treatment options are given to you both soon. You can only do what you can do and sometimes it’s not making them do what you would do, but accept their limitations and go on.
    Love the green CeCe! Take care.

 
 
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