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Monday, April 6, 2009

  Monday Morning Mirth  
from the wonderful Washington Post…

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n..): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

6. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

8. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.

9. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you

10. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

11. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.

12. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

This last one happened to me the other day. Turns out that little white thing that fell off my phone was merely a piece of rice that missed my mouth during a Chinese lunch…

6 responses to “Monday, April 6, 2009”

  1. Jennifer says:

    Those are great. Except the last one. I now have the shivers.

  2. Laura K says:

    Thanks for making my Monday morning!

  3. Melissa G says:

    Oh, thank you!

  4. grammynan says:

    I love this stuff! It will go to work with me tomorrow. (It sounds very medical in places)

  5. Oh I love these! I was an income tax preparer for many years, so #1 has special meaning for me. No matter that we tried to teach our clients to ‘break even’, there’s something psychologically satisfying about an income tax refund that gets the better of common sense every time!

  6. Samantha says:

    Haha, I can relate to sooo many of those! Hmm, let’s see, numbers 3…5…9…11 (especially number 11) =D

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