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Tuesday, June 29, 2004

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L’Atelier ChicKnits presents:
Doube Gauge Final Jeopardy!!!

Contestant #2 hails from Chicago USA and thinks she knows everthing there is to know about knitting! Tell us about yourself Bonnie Marie…

Bonne Marie: “That’s Ms. Bonne Marie, Alex – well, the kids in my neighborhood call me the Worsted Weight Queen! On most evenings, you can find me, tiara in place, wailing away on some mouthwatering wardrobe.

Alex: “Right, let’s get to the game…”

Bonne: “I’ll take Super Chunky for $1000.00.”

Alex: “2.75 sts per inch”

Bonne: “What’s the gauge of a Super Chunky Yarn?” Super Chunky for $4000, please…”

Alex: “Incorrect! Ms. Marie, the correct answer is ‘what’s half the gauge of Worsted Weight?’ Next contestant, please…”

Bonne: “Just a minute, Wizard of Odds – is that why it’s taken me twice as long to knit this damn shell?”

Alex:: “Now, Bonnie, any expert would know, when using Fashion Yarns, the normal rules do not apply!”

Bonne: “Dude, you may be missin’ your moustache, but I’ve got all my brain cells, and I’m telling you: THERE ARE NO RULES!” This stuff is just plain —- welll —- I’d rather be stuck on stage with Bob Barker and his MagicTan than try and design anything out of this AGAIN!!! And it’s B-O-N-N-E!!!!! BONNNNNNNN!”

Alex: “SECURITY!!!! STAT!!!!”

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Television Without Pity:

Jeopardy

the Price is Right

WHEEL

10 Responses to “Tuesday, June 29, 2004”

  1. Cathy says:

    Oh my God! You are such a riot!

  2. maeve says:

    Perhaps there is a diety out there somewhere who deals specifically with the vagrancies and hazards of knitting with fashion yarns…

  3. Carrie says:

    Well, it looks damn good anyways. You show the fashion yarn who’s boss!!

  4. kathi says:

    you crack me up…

  5. Tracey says:

    Hmmm, those are some classic knitting shows right there. I learned the knit and purl stitches with Grandma B. and Bob Barker.

  6. Rose says:

    When we have knitting stand-up comedy night at Yarnivore, you and Annie Modesitt are my headliners, for sure!

  7. elisabeth says:

    Its tough being under those lights in Yarn Jeopardy! And hey, I should know, because I was once a contestant on the $10,000 Pyramid. FYI…there were no questions about gauge or needle size. Go figure!

  8. Becky says:

    I’m laughing out loud!

    Bob Barker does have a Magic Tan, doesn’t he? Whose do you think is more magical: Bob’s or George Hamilton’s?

    P.S. Doncha love how Alex Trebec gets all smug when announcing the answers? I wonder if he’d be so smug if someone took away those cheat sheets he’s always got in his hand…

  9. Bonne Marie says:

    ALEX has gone into a most dysfunctional fugue the last season or so – ever since Jeopardy brought in those wonky college kids to do little spots in the program.

    I think the producers were all threatened by the success of *Millionaire*, and all those upstart game and reality shows, so they told Mr. A he had to contemporize his image.

    NOW, I’m sure he already thought he was the Cat’s PJs…

    But off goes the MOUSTACHE! ON goes the sour milk attitude…

    And to think I once sorta had a TV Crush on him…

  10. Bonne Marie says:

    Hey Tracey – come to think of it, I spent many an afternoon with my Busia (Polish for Grandmother) knitting and watching game shows and soap operas while knitting as a little girl while we waited for my Mom to come home from work. Thank God, none of the Fat Thumb Mittens I made exist to this day…

    but THESE SHOWS ARE COMPLETELY CONDUCIVE TO KNITTING!

    EUREKA!

 
 
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