Monday Morning Mirth
from the wonderful Washington Post…
1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.
2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
3. Bozone (n..): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
4. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
5. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn’t get it.
6. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
7. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.
8. Karmageddon: It’s when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, and then the Earth explodes, and it’s a serious bummer.
9. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you
10. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
11. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you’ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
12. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.
This last one happened to me the other day. Turns out that little white thing that fell off my phone was merely a piece of rice that missed my mouth during a Chinese lunch…