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Tuesday, April 26, 2005


meet my little friend, Mme. Dumas…

In a Move that could only be topped by a springtime tornado or two, the Little Bad Muse has started Spring Cleaning! A legandary FIVE loads of laundry were done over a two hour span of excrutiatingly boring Moday Night Sitcom TV and that only whet her whistle.

ON to the closets! DIG through the Sweater Armoire! FIND the scoundrels that need to be cleaned before their Summer Hibernation!

SCREECH! This is a cool thing – the yummiest deep indigo color – but the sight of it makes the Little Bad Muse hem and haw and before you know it, she’s borrowing a phrase and SHOUTING in my ear: “Dumbass”….

That’s right – it’s too big and looks wonky! This poor creation is the end result (and becoming my personal MO) of NOT reading the pattern. Just knit the thing, make a few critical changes and carry-on as a card carrying member of the Dumas Family, who in legendary fashion, set the standard for blissful ignorance!

End Result? Floppinzeeze in ze shoulder, droopin’ in the sleeves, and an accidental waistline that would do Mme. Josephine proud…

OFF with it’s Thread! Vraiment…


Monday, April 25, 2005

  Monday Morning Mirth  

from the pages of the Washington Post Style Invitational: take a hyphenated heading from the top of a page of the Yellow Pages and define it

Alcohol-Apartments: Universities used to call these “dormitories.” (Elden Carnahan

Attorneys-Audiologists: Lawyers who guarantee they’ll get you a hearing. (Marty McCullen, Gettysburg, Pa.

Automotive-Bail: What you’ll have to pay if you’re found parked on Constitution Avenue at 4:00:00.00001 p.m. on weekdays (Elden Carnahan)

Balancing-Balloons: Silicone implants on just one side to “even things up.” (Russell Beland)

Billing-Blood: A loan shark’s late payment fee. (Harold Kerr, Takoma Park)

Chiropractors-Christmas: A forecast of freezing rain and heavy, wet snow. (Brendan Beary)

Curtain-Dancing: What burlesque queens resort to when they’ve lost the figure for fan-dancing. (Brendan Beary)

Can-Car: Pulled by the Little Engine That Could (Pam Sweeney, Germantown)

Child-Duct: An FCC-acceptable euphemism for part of the female anatomy. (Pam Sweeney)

Demolition-Dentists: Let us rearrange your mouth in a single visit. (Marty McCullen)

Environmental-Escort: Ooh, I’ll maketh you lie down in green pastures, big boy! (Harold Kerr)

Foam-Foods: The nation’s top supplier of airline meals. (Joseph Romm, Washington)

Financial-Fire: For when cooking the books didn’t work well enough. (Jane Auerbach, Los Angeles)

Granite-Grocers: Specializing in those holiday fruitcakes. (Stevens R. Miller, Ashburn)

Kitchen-Labor: Term of endearment likely to go over even less well than “the old ball and chain.” (Russell Beland)

Lawn-Lawyers: Little statues of guys in business suits holding attache cases — for the discriminating homeowner who’d never have a lawn jockey. (Russell Beland)

Lumber-Magicians: Your friends at Pfizer. (Michelle Stupak)

Mattresses-Memorial: Hugh Hefner’s already planning his grave site . . . (Les Greenblatt, Ann Arbor, Mich.)

Paper-Parapsychologists: Practitioners who, instead of attending a rigorous school, simply got their parapsychology credentials from a diploma mill. (Russell Beland)

Real-Refrigerators: A Food Network reality show featuring spur-of-the-moment dishes like Worcestershire Sauce and Two-Year-Old Olives Wrapped in Brown Lettuce. (Tom Kreitzberg)

Rubber-Safe: Where the bank puts the bounced checks. (Paul Kocak, Syracuse, N.Y.)

Radio-Ready: Less than photogenic: “That guy has a face that’s radio-ready.” (Seth Brown, North Adams, Mass.)

Sewer-Sewing: The latest fad since extreme ironing competitions. (Dave Prevar, Annapolis)

Stools-Storage: Label on a vault in Howard Hughes’s home. (Pam Sweeney)

Tree-Trophies: What beavers proudly display in their lodges. (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf)

Wedding-Welding: Up to 40 percent less likely to be put asunder! (Tom Cary, Hollywood, Md.)

Women’s-Zoning: A wife’s rules for use of a house’s public space. Seldom written down; usually enforced with a simple “You’re not putting that in here, are you?” (Brendan Beary)

Yacht-Zoos: Noah’s three sons launch a successful business chain. (Roy Ashley, Washington


Weekend, April 24, 2005

A lovely scooped neckline tops this easy sweater…

The Scoop’s Body & Sleeves are edged with
deep, chunky ribbing for a
modern flattering look…

This Size 38 Scoop has set-in sleeves and is knit in pieces using:
Lion Brand "Cotton Ease" in Vanilla.

The pattern is perfect for any Aran weight yarn, cotton, wool or blends that can knit to a gauge of 18 sts/24 rows per 4″.

The Scoop is modeled by the fabulous Heidi from “Step Into My Thimble.”

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