Monday Morning Mirth
as seen with my own eyes in Tustin, MI Saturday, September 4, 2004
Small Town, Big Fun…
Tips for watching that Holiday Parade
10. Get there early enough to stake out your prime vantage point with lawn chairs. Two hours before lift-off is good; leave the chairs there with the multitude of others (dude, this is a small town, no one will STEAL THEM) and come back later.
9. Be sure to remember your ear plugs; many small town *floats* are EMT vehicles from three or 4 counties enriching the parade atmosphere with BLARING SIRENS!!! Most likely, they will be stalled right in front of your sea of chairs when the vintage car carrying the Mayor stalls 10 chairs up.
8. If you have a pet, be sure to bring it to the parade; better yet, dress it up and march with it or carry it on your lap while you drive your vintage car IN the parade.
7. The American Flag is good for all seasons for all reasons!!! Whether float, vintage car, personal/pet apparel, you cannot go wrong. More is, well, MORE!
6. Be sure to sit far enough away from the curb to avoid being hit by the projectile candy and beads being tossed from any and all *floats*!
5. Be sure to sit close enough to the curb to snarf up all the candy and props that will happily come flying your way from the floats! If the parade stalls (trust me), the kids on the float nearest to you will just unload their goody bags your way! Knowledge is POWER!
4. Be sure to look out for fellow Sweets Divers, who might accidentally head butt you into seeing stars if you are not careful (source: my nephew who is still rubbing his head after actively bopping mine, or vice versa, depending on who you ask…)
3. After you remember you are over 12 and it’s just not attractive to go face first into the grass over some Tootsie Rolls and you sit back down, it will be even more tempting to unwrap and sympathy gorge yourself on that Peppermint Patty that just poked you in the eye before it fell into your lap. Remember it is 88 degrees outside and it might be MELTED.
2. Ignore the above advice and go for it, even though you end up with a dork, dark chocolate moustache from licking the foil around that candy! YUM!
1. ENJOY your holiday because YOU WORK HARD FOR THE MONEY HONEY!!!
HAPPY LABOR DAY!